For the next 362 days, I will be writing entries under the title, ‘I AM TROY DAVIS.’ Moved to pick up the pen not merely by Troy Anthony Davis‘ death/execution, but more so by his life/evolution, I hope that there are those out there who can relate. If so, we must connect. We are already connected. Axé.
Is life really the b###h, or is it the ego? I feel like life may be getting a bad rap these days. But if you ask most, they will probably disagree with me. In fact, in our male-dominated, M.O.B. (Money Over B###hes) society, a whole lot of folks won’t just disagree, they would straight clown me for even making the statement at all. The die-hard, thugged-out, hoes and tricks click, might even call me a b###h for even thinking it, let alone saying it! Real talk.
(If you are part of the aforementioned group, I overstand. But, if you have about ten free minutes, just humor me for a moment, and continue reading. If my previous statement, on the other hand, intrigued you in any way at all, then let’s get this discussion underway!)
As human beings, we tend to focus on the problems in our lives when we speak to each other. How many phone calls do you get from friends complaining about the bills, the kids, their significant other, their job, the heat, the cold, the neighborhood, the list goes on? Time and time and again, we sit with each other on the phone, at dinner, in the car, on the porch, talking about life: the b###h.
In fact, most of us spend the majority of our lives gossiping, talking bad about our situations, and/or thinking negative thoughts about ourselves and others – to the extremely sharpened point where nothing seems positive, hopeful, or possible. So, by definition, life becomes a b###h because it’s all we do. Like pimping, b###hing is a way of life.
All of our negative thinking just becomes a habit that we can’t shake because it’s comfortable – for, as they say, misery loves company. Well, I guess misery also gets it on with complacency, mediocrity, and stagnancy as well because it’s so much easier to sit and complain, than it is to get up and fix. It’s incredibly harder to look inside yourself than it is to look at someone else: on the block, on the T.V., at your job, in the express aisle at the supermarket, or in another country. It’s exceedingly easier to wait on GOD to come and fix something in your life, or in society, than it is to find the GOD within you that was born to live.
Don’t get me wrong. Please don’t misoverstand me my people. Living ain’t always easy. For a whole lot of us, it is very hard. Especially, when we come from places like New Orleans – where 8th generation residents suddenly became dome-dwelling ‘refugees’ in their own city. Positivity can be extremely hard to come by when you are sleeping on a cold floor, in a leaky building, next to dead bodies, and thousands of stressed-out strangers. Physically, over time, we may all grow into adult form, but our spiritual growth can be stunted early in life due to intense psychological trauma of some kind.
Living in these times has given us all some type of trauma. In fact, I think the modern experience, in particular, can be like a mild form of torture for most. Perhaps it’s a subtle current, but I don’t think we are coping well with the ways that technology is shaping our mind patterns, and shifting our communication/relationships. People are logged into social networks, but logged-out of deep human connectivity. If you think this issue is over-rated, fine. But, I think it is creating more and more isolation.
Despite all of it, however, I am hopeful. I wake up everyday, regardless of what is in (or, not in) my bank account, and I look forward to my life’s unfolding. This is a journey. Every minute of it will not be pleasant. Everyday will not be happy. Every month will not be easy. But, I hope that I am done complaining.
In fact, I intend to offer suggestions, and ideas for improving our lives in these so-called modern times. Let’s start here: you are not alone. There are others like you. Don’t give up on life.
If you feel something is missing from your life, be still. Go fishing inside the deep waters of your soul, and just listen for something inside of you that feels alive. Once you hear/feel something, pull hard on it, dust it off, and bring it to the surface. If you have a desire to do something, anything, follow it. Don’t spend anymore time on the phone, talking about what is wrong. Find something right in your life, and just praise the heck out of it. Count your blessings.
Beyond finding something in your life to praise, find someone in your life to praise. Maybe that someone isn’t your ex-boyfriend, or your mother-in law that can’t seem to keep herself our of your business. It’s O.K. Think. There must be someone that you can thank for something?
Once that person is in your mind, pay them a personal visit, or at least call them, just to say ‘thank you’ for whatever positive role they have played in your life. I have my person in mind right now. I could literally write a book about their influence, and importance in my life, but I don’t have time at this moment!
Find your person. Imagine them receiving love and all the blessings of this world. See them, in your mind’s eye, showered with light, and basking in its overpowering glow. Now, make a connection with them. Let them know how you feel, and what they have done to help you become who you are today. Be explicit. Don’t hold back. Feel the joy of being thankful.
In general, we wait until a funeral to share our true feelings about our loved ones. We go out of our way to buy extravagant bouquets, and print up R.I.P. t-shirts that fade over time. But, we rarely, if ever, give roses to the living. Please don’t wait until the end of someone’s life to express what they truly mean to you. Do it today.
This entry was inspired by a recent music video that a friend posted on Facebook. The song is called ‘Roses,’ and it expresses my last 1000 words in musical form. Thank you for the reminder Smif N’ Wessun.
My name is Jonathan ‘Jbro’ Mahone, and I am one-half of (RAS) Riders Against the Storm. I AM TROY DAVIS.